Don't Extinguish the Creative Flame in Your Child
Simple Tips to Help you Encourage the Creative Spark in your Child
Mar 18, 2023
At some point in life, you will most likely cross paths with a creative soul. It can’t be helped. Art and creativity is in everything around us, even if you do not recognize it. From creation itself to your favorite tv show, movie or song, to that line of poetry that touched your soul, all the way down to the packaging design on your favorite snack - art and creativity is in all of it. Life would be terribly dull without it, don’t you agree?
Art takes courage, hard work, patience, time and so much more.
While society is learning more and more how art and creativity touches everything in life, there is still the lingering stigma of “starving artists” or “art isn’t a real job,” which can be discouraging to those who have a desire to create. So, how can you ensure that you are not dousing that creative spark in your child, especially if you yourself struggle to feel creatively inclined?
This topic has been on my mind as I recently had someone I’ve known since I was child reach out to me to inquire how they could be supportive of their daughter who loves to make art. The question made me think back to my own childhood and experiences I have had. Many may think that they need to focus on materials for their child to use in order to make art, and while those are important, I think the first priority you should focus on is your approach. Even if you give your child all of the best supplies the world has to offer, your approach can still snuff out that little flame. So, today, we are going to focus solely on approach, while next month’s post will focus on materials.
Avoid Judgement
Focus on the ideas and inspiration behind their art, not the outcome of how it looks. If your child brings their art to you, ask them to share their idea behind the art and what inspired them to make it. This can be especially helpful if you can’t tell what exactly it is that they made. Sometimes, straight out asking them what it is can be discouraging for the child. In their eyes, they may think that it is obvious what they drew, and pointing out that it is not recognizable to you right away can be upsetting.
By focusing on their inspiration, you may get a better idea of what is going on in the drawing while at the same time showing them that you are interested in knowing more about something they found important enough to draw. Ask them what their favorite part of the drawing is and let them tell you all about it. While this may seem insignificant, it can make all the difference in your child’s perception of your opinion of their art. Take note of what you also see and talk to the child about it. Tell them what your favorite part is.
Don't Tell Your Child How They Should Make Their Art and Allow Them to Try New Things
Oftentimes, it is easy to focus on if something looks even remotely like what the artist says it is supposed to be. It can be really easy to say, “Oh well, the sky is blue during the day, not pink.” or “That’s not what a butterfly looks like.” While you may think that you are helping your child improve their art to make it more “realistic”, comments like these can be really discouraging.
I remember this one time, when I was little, during a long trip for vacation, I happened to be coloring in a coloring book, and my brother (sorry, Anthony, for throwing you under the bus here) got really upset with me that I had colored the lips of a female character blue. He was all upset because people’s lips are not naturally blue and so her lips should not be blue. He wouldn’t even accept that it could be lipstick as she would not have lipstick due to the setting the character on the page was in. I was really upset because I didn’t care if it was natural or not. My creative little heart wanted her to have blue lips. For context on why my brother might have been concerned about this page I was coloring, this coloring book happened to be one that we shared. I guess for my brother, it was upsetting to have a page in there that was not accurate to the real world. My parents ended up telling my brother to let me color however I wanted and to not tell me what colors to use. While that may seem like a silly story that in the grand scheme of things doesn’t matter because it was just a coloring page, it’s small things like this that can encourage the spark to become a flame or can extinguish it. Now, I don’t want all of you thinking badly of my brother just because of this one hilarious, childhood memory. My brother was a huge driving force in my creative art journey. He had his own artistic style and thought processes, which is also probably why he found it so upsetting since my creative heart was clashing with his at that moment.
Take Note When Your Child has Drawn Something
in a New Way
Maybe they used to always draw the sun as a semi circle with lines for the rays in one of the upper corners of the paper, but this time they drew it as a circle on the page and not in the corner. It’s ok to say something like, “Oh, you drew the sun differently this time. Did you have fun drawing it like this?” Focus on their experience of trying something new. It’s ok to recognize that the way they are drawing something has changed, and the child may even want to know if you notice that they tried something new. If the child reveals that they aren’t happy with what they drew and feel they made a mistake in trying something new, find a way to encourage them that mistakes are ok. Art is all about trying new things and learning what you like and what you don’t like. Failure and mistakes are not bad.
Resist Trying to Set a Creative Agenda for Your Child
Unless a child asks you for ideas or input, try to resist telling them what to make if this is a creative session that is outside of school/class work. Telling the child what to make when they did not ask for direction can make it feel like an assignment rather than the fun, creative outlet you intended.
Make space for the “Messy” Artwork
Some art mediums, such as paint can be messy, and messy can sometimes mean stress for you. If your child really loves art mediums that are “messy”, I cannot express enough how important it is for you to make “space” for your child to use those messy mediums. Setting aside the time while also setting up a station for your child to use messy art supplies will help eliminate your stress as much as possible while maximizing the enjoyment they get out of their creative session. For example, if your child loves to paint, just like my niece does, but you are nervous about them spilling the paint or dirty paint water all over your carpet, then don’t set them up to paint over your bare carpet. Try setting them up in the kitchen, or if the weather is nice, outside in the backyard. If those options don’t work, try setting something down on the floor that will catch any paint or dirty paint water so that your child can create freely without causing you stress. In my opinion, it is your responsibility, as the adult, to provide the space for your child to create that you won’t freak out if things get a little…or a lot… messy. If you set them up to paint in the craft room, but you have a rug in there that you don’t want them to get paint on, it’s your responsibility to move the rug out of the way. If your child wants to paint, but based on your schedule or engagements for the day, there is not enough time for them do so, kindly explain to them that there is not enough time at this moment to paint but make a plan with them to have a painting day later in the week when they can have more time. My sister-in-law has done this with my niece, and she, at least at times when I have been present, receives it well. She understands that her mom is saying that she cannot paint at this moment due to a time constraint, and that she will get to paint later.
Check Out Other Artist's Work
This is so much easier than it used to be. You can do this by getting picture books about art and artists from your local library, going to an art museum, visiting an art gallery, going to an art festival, or even by watching artists on YouTube with your child from the comfort of your own home. It can be encouraging to young artists for them to see people of all ages making art as well as giving them an opportunity to learn or find inspiration. YouTube is an amazing resource you can use with your child as you can find many drawing tutorials that can teach them how to draw a variety of things. You may even enjoy learning something yourself alongside your child.
Hang Up Their Artwork
Another way to show a child that you value their art is by hanging it up. Now, in my opinion, this is something that should be done in addition to everything else previously mentioned, and not the only thing done. If this is the only thing you do, it can communicate an expectation that “finished” art or art of a certain “quality” is all that matters. If you have more than one child, it is also important to display a little bit of all of your children’s art, not just the child’s who is “good” at art as that will reinforce the notion that in order for you to appreciate their art, it has to meet your expectations.
Bonus Tip: Work on a Mind Shift to Help Prevent Comparison from Stealing Joy
I was sharing with my one of my cousins the topic for this post as she is a creative soul and her boys also enjoy creative outlets. She mentioned her approach for if one of her boys is following along with a tutorial, whether from a video an artist has posted on YouTube or from a drawing book, and they are starting to become frustrated because their drawing doesn’t look identical to the tutorial’s drawing. She tries to shift their focus away from it not being identical and instead on how they are taking inspiration in order to put their own touch on it. She wants them to understand the concept of originality and making something their own. While she sees how their little touch is important, it is valuable, and it is good, she wants them to understand that as well. She hopes that by taking this approach when they are becoming frustrated as they are learning and growing their skills, that she can help them fight against insecurities in their creativity and not be afraid of making “mistakes.” We each imprint a little of ourselves into our own art. From our use of color, to the specific art mediums we use, brushstrokes or line work - we leave a unique mark that is of us in everything we create. In a world where comparison can rob you of your joy and excitement, not only in art but in all aspects of life, teaching a simple mind shift like this can stick with your child for years to come as they traverse this world that is constantly throwing comparison in our faces.
While these suggestions are not the only things you can do to help keep the creative spark alive in your child, they are some great starting points, especially for those of you who may feel clueless when it comes to art. Children are highly impressionable, which is why more often than not, the desire to create is extinguished during one’s childhood rather than later on in life. At times, those who are creatively inclined, that perhaps, had their creative spark dimmed in their childhood, find themselves returning to art later on in life when they have the courage to spend time on it again. Children aim to make their parents happy, and your response to their art and their desire to create will shape their perspective of art and their pursuit of it. You can easily fan the flame of their creativity or put it out.
Be like Sophie from Howl's Moving Castle and encourage the flame.
Comments